Need an Enlargement - Pump It Up!

At times I wonder at the amount and type of spam that clogs my e-mail - things like getting paid to take surveys, prizes I've supposedly won, invoice #1234, and yes, the penis enlargement. I've always found this unwanted mail aggravating as I whisk it away with a press of the delete key. But, penis enlargement? Since when did I acquire one? I would think that by now I would have noticed that I had one...even if it were teeny weenie. Perhaps it's so small it's an inny? Hmmm...perhaps they are advertising dildos or phallic socks...should I go to the local "toy store" and acquire one and "pump" it up to full extension?

You'd think these mindless e-mailers would target, at the very least, men. Or, do they not have the "balls" to face their audience? Perhaps they should invest in some large, globular, firm to the touch, prosthetic testicles. Or, since they lack "balls" in the first place, perhaps they should acquire a pair of ovaries.