The Hypocritical Right

Religious zealots masquerading as religious leaders are among the most frightening people in the world. In my opinion, they are far worse than serial killers. Why? They kill thousands more than any serial killer can dream of. They use their holy pulpits and TV shows to speak to millions of fire and brimstone with the purpose of igniting violence – a call to arms. A call for violence is usually not a core belief system for most religions – the necessity for violence and war for political and economic reasons…well…assassinations are par for the course.

Pat Robertson, the 700 Club prime-time brainwasher, was quoted as saying: "Without question this is a dangerous enemy to our south, controlling a huge pool of oil that could hurt us very badly. We have the ability to take him [Chavez] out and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability. We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator."

War for Oil – all in the name of God! Amen! This must be what our esteemed, "well-spoken" president must be thinking because, as usual, he hasn't gotten a hold of his advisor to tell him how he should react and what he should say. Perhaps Monday will be more convenient.

Religious congregations should pick up their own bibles and actually READ it and think for themselves – particularly the parts about loving your neighbor, not killing, and least I forget, the part about not being the judge of others….I don't recall any parts calling for violent means for political or economic gain. Maybe it's written in invisible ink visible only to those in power.

From the pulpit of Planet Shortbread, this has been another blogly rant. Now if you’ll pass in the offering plate, I’d be much obliged.

Zingers

Teaching dyslexic children reading is a very step-by-step process. After students read some text, the instructor asks questions aimed at increasing reading comprehension skills. I asked my 8-year old student what a cad was. He told me that a cad was a rude person. I explained that a cad was actually a rude male person. He paused, wrinkled his face in thought, and asked, "what's a rude female person called?" The word that immediately leapt to mind and refused to leave was one that I could not relay to him. At a loss I replied, "It's not an appropriate word." He stuffed his hands into his pockets and said, "Oh. It's the B word."

Better Sex

Are you looking for better sex? Try Vitalis! It will suit all your sexual needs. That is – if your woody refuses to petrify during those “oh so intimate moments.” The radio commercial for this wonderful penis-hardening drug, pitched it as a “better sex” drug – sort of like the new millennium aphrodisiac. Problem is – you can’t have better sex until you can actually have sex. Better sex – well now, I can think of a few solutions such as –a new position, technique, or breaking the conservative mold and venturing into the toy store! New and inventive can often lead to Better Sex.

Vitalis, well…

Is your lil’ pardner down and withdrawn. Does he refuse to partake in social gatherings? Does his head continue to hang when you give him a hand? Try something different. Try Vitalis! Watch him hold his head high and thrust himself into the center of attention! Vitalis – The Penile Anti-Depressant!

For even better sex, take your happy, attentive, little guy to the adult novelty shop.

Computer Spew

I always knew that we, as a society, have become increasingly impersonal in day-to-day business. Humanless, self-check out counters and ATM machines abound in American society happy to greet you with a typographical message and a list of instructions. Occasionally, the instructions actually work. [I wonder how many people who actually need a job lose it to these faceless machines?]

Then there's the monthly bills, spit out in a religious fashion - never faltering in its tenacity. This tenacity has been clearly evident in the death of my partner's father. We still receive bills demanding payment for months of "service" following his death. They are even nice enough to include late fees. Nickel and diming the dead really should be a punishable crime. How would you punish a computer anyway? Give it a vicious repeating loop proclaiming that it has no brain?

T-Mobil finally acknowledged letters repeatedly sent to them stating that he had died. They informed him, he who had passed, that they were sorry to hear that he had decided to terminate his service with them. I'm sorry, but are the people punching in the keystrokes illiterate? He DIED. I don't think he had a choice in his "decision" to terminate their service. He simply terminated. Period.

Then there's the hospital. He died at the hospital. You'd think they would have records of this fact. They sent him, the deceased, a survey regarding their service. My partner took the survey for her father...after adding a few choices and sent it back. I'll just say she took it with humor, not anger. To read her take on the survey and what she added, visit the link to Quizzical Minds.

This has been another impersonal take on American Life by citizen #206337800 and stuffed toys, Eeyore Model Number BL0063422 and Cat-in-the-Hat Model Number RW333666.

The American Judicial System and The Witch Hunt

Thoughts race through my mind in response to the radio announcer's comments telling parents to rush to their computers and look up the number of sexual offenders residing within their respective neighborhoods. Personally knowing full well how devastating sexual predators can be, I still paused in alarm. It wasn't what the announcer said; it was how she said it - full of alarm, shock, and an angry passion - a tone that could incite fear and a possible witch hunt.

Does this faceless radio voice realize the full implication of her words? I think not. I don't believe she's ever given it a moments notice. Does she not understand that the problem isn't the sexual predators per se, but the American legal system?

Sexual predation and other culturally defined aberrant behavior are as part of the Human Existence as our bipedal locomotion. The negative aspects of our behavior are an inherent part of the human animal - our species; we simply vary is our triggers and our ability to inhibit these behaviors. We are all capable of serious "wrong doing."

Then there's our legal system - outdated and biased - it simply doesn't work well. When sexual offenders with proven predatory records are released to prowl. . . again - the system failed. When our courts convict way more blacks than whites - the system failed. When the rich are warned and the poor are given life sentences for similar offenses - the system failed. When the innocent are wrongly put to death - there is a serious flaw in our legal system. When jury selection consists of profiling with the goal not being to obtain the Truth, but to obtain a victory as if a person's trial is a competition - then there is a huge problem.

Perhaps we should turn our eyes and fear away from hate-filled witch hunts and force our leadership to fix the problem itself. Until then, we as a society, should apologize for all the innocent lives wrongly devastated by our fears and the American Judicial System.

Lessons Learned

Driving about town assisting my partner watering plants and cleaning houses - I will NOT do that again - all the things I've learned in the past year and six months of residence within the northern region of Florida occurred to me. I have learned that something will be blooming no matter what month it is. "Winter" lasts for two days to a week, large, glorious blooms can occur on trees; hurricanes can affect areas other than the coastal areas shown on the nightly news; I now know the full meaning of sultry - it isn't mere hot and humid - it is an experience worth avoiding; mold takes particular delight with things obtained in desert regions; insects never die - they simply breed continuously and seek your flesh for feasting; one does not carry an ice scraper - you keep a squeegee on hand, and when driving through a torrential downpour - you turn on your hazard lights and plow right through it.

Reporting from the scrotal region of Florida, this has been Dawn Frost, Eeyore, and Cat-in-the-Hat for Planet Shortbread Blog.